This article is based on conversations with a married friend caught in a web of an intoxicating attraction to a coworker. It is presented with my friend’s permission.
You called me in a frantic state of mind, rightfully frightened about what seemed to you to be an irresistible attraction to a married fellow worker. You could not understand how you, a straight-laced, conservative woman could have been flooded with what felt to you like overwhelming romantic fantasies about your colleague. You described spending hours obsessing about that person, wondering why you were “in love” with him, and what you should do about it. Read more…
ctudor Boundaries, family family, happiness
I was doing a training recently when the subject of divorce in corrections
came up. I could almost feel the pain in the room pouring out of people’s
hearts. When later on I received this article, submitted to me by a female corrections officer (who gave me permission to reprint it anonymously), I knew I had to share it with as many people in corrections as I could. Read more…
ctudor family family
Printed with permission.
I thought I would write an article similar to “the old Screw” to tell what 20 years in Australian Corrections has done to me, my wife and family. She has been a solid partner. Unfortunately, I cannot say I have been the same to her or my children.
I have just retired prematurely, diagnosed with PTSD from an incident 12 years ago that, if recognized at the time, I could have sought help for.
Read more…
ctudor family, PTSD corrections officers, family, integrity, PTSD
It is not news to you that, for a multitude of reasons, your personal relationships often suffer because of your job. As the holidays approach, the most obvious example is your having to work on Christmas or New Year’s Day. Or perhaps you had to work on Thanksgiving Day. Your loved ones might deal with your absences from family events by “getting used” to gathering and celebrating without you.
This does not reduce the fact that they miss you and that you miss out on special moments. Read more…
ctudor family family
Research, personal experience and history testify that one of the most effective ways to weather tough times and stay sane is to have good relationships. Good relationships form a safety net under us. They are a refuge, a place to refuel, a way to give and to receive, and a means to be held accountable.
Corrections work only too often takes its toll on relationships, as weary staff tend to lash out in anger or withdraw in reaction to even minor irritations. Read more…
ctudor Sanity Tips family, happiness
Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) can be of great help to staff who struggle with substance abuse issues. In my counseling practice with Corrections Officers over the past nine years I have noted an additional area of need which crops us frequently with corrections personnel—that of posttraumatic stress. In fact, these two areas of substance abuse and psychological traumatization may well be interrelated. The “dual” (double) diagnosis literature indicates that oftentimes substances, such as alcohol, are the tool people abuse to “muffle” (self-medicate) their posttraumatic symptoms and make them more tolerable for a short while.1
Posttraumatic stress takes a heavy toll on body, soul, and spirit.1 In addition to substance abuse, untreated posttraumatic stress may contribute to high turnover, sick leave, and early disability retirement in corrections. And it may be at least partly responsible for the high suicide rates among Corrections Officers.2
Read more…
ctudor PTSD corrections officers, family, traumatic stress
I recently suggested that laughing helps us stay sane. Since theory without practice is useless, I decided to post this article submitted to Desert Waters by a CO wife. So read on, and chuckle, chortle and guffaw.
“He ate his shoes!” was what my husband mumbled over and over one evening during his first couple of months on the job in the prison system. What sort of job had he found himself in and what sort of people would eat their shoes? Thus began his life as a corrections officer, dealing with not only shoe-eaters, but inmates that would do just about anything. Read more…
ctudor family corrections officers, family
Whenever I come across well-functioning correctional staff, I ask them about the “secret of their success.” Here is some of what I’ve heard over the years. It is divided in three categories which correspond to the three areas DWCO targets in its mission—the occupational, personal and family well-being of corrections staff. Read more…
ctudor Smart Living family, integrity, professionalism, self-care
